These are smart goals to have, but the honest-to-god truth that no one ever tells you is that text messages are not the place to be doing any of these things!
This is the reason a lot of men screw things up with a girl and lose her… because they are trying to do way too much when it comes to texting.
Attracting a woman, turning her on, and building a strong connection with her are all crucial steps but you want to do these in person when you’re with her – ideally alone!
The real goal of texting is to act as a bridge for you to be able to see her again and every text you send a woman should have that purpose.
Still there are some serious mistakes guys make when flirting through text message…
Texting her too soon.
- Texting her too often. If you just met then girl her AT LEAST three hours before you text her and avoid texting her late at night. Most women don’t respond to late night text messages for a lot of various reasons. A good “rule of thumb” cut off time is 9PM.
- Maybe you’ve heard this one before. This is the biggest mistake men make HANDS DOWN! Go through your recent text messages with girls you like.
- Sending long text messages. I chalk to up to most guys not being as “socially savvy” as women. Your texts should be short and efficient – not to an insulting extent, but as efficient as possible to get the job done. My guess: Your texts are probably too long right now.
If you focus on these three tips this will make a drastic improvement in your text message flirting skills. The real battle is to eliminate the extra “crap” rather than try additional tricks.
And if you want a great bonus exercise then try this…
BONUS EXERCISE: Go through your most recent text message conversations with girls you like. Count how many total text messages you sent. Now count how many total text messages the girl(s) sent. It should be roughly equal… but based on other guys I’ve help out I’m going to get you might be texting almost TWICE as much as the girls!
Also feel free to compare your words typed v.s. her words typed too (this will help you message the length of your texts v.s. the length of her, rather than just number of over text messages).
If this is the case don’t freak out. Just work hard and be disciplined to keep the same length and number of messages as the girls your texting. Sure, it will feel challenging at first… like how writing a 160 character Tweet is challenge, but you’ll get the hang of it and you can learn a ton from the women who text you. Women are absolute PROS at fast and efficient texts!
Bottom Line: All text messages are sent for one single reason and one reason ONLY: to see the girl in person again. The vast majority of men send many more texts than the girls they’re texting and to top it off their texts are much longer. Men also go overboard trying to do too much by expanding text messages and sending unnecessary additional messages while trying to make jokes, get her more interested, and attempting to build a connection.
It’s time to re-think texting, let go of your old ideas and focus on what really matter – getting together with this girl, getting her in bed or getting her hooked and dating you.