Unfortunately, the internet is also notorious for falsified information. Everyone from professors to close friends to aged family members will warn you to be careful in cyber space. One of the recently trending quotes on the internet sums it up nicely:

“The trouble with quotes on the internet is that you can never know if they are genuine.” -Abraham Lincoln

Fortunately, online dating is no longer in its beta days. Matching systems are more complex and accurate, and online dating veterans and experts have figured out key things to avoid when looking for a date. Obviously everyone wants to avoid the crazy psychotic people out there who will turn into stalkers the instant a break up happens, but there are also things you can look for that will warn you against a person being dishonest just for the sake of looking better online and getting more dates.

1. Unclear Photographs

The photograph of a lady you’re interested in should clearly display her face in a semi-respectable manner. If she’s twisted into a strange pose, the picture file is extra tiny, her face is blurred, she’s pictured with a large group of people, or you can’t see her face properly because her hair is in the way, she’s tilting her head, or it’s obstructed by a large hair or head accessory – it might be best to stay away. There are lots of reasons women will post pictures of themselves like this: low self-confidence, unwillingness to commit, or she’s trying to be deceptive about her looks. Whatever the reason, it’s best to go with someone who’s easier to understand and straight forward about who she is and what she looks like.

2. Demanding Qualifications

The way some people list qualifications on their online dating profiles, you’d think they were giving blueprints for an architect being paid millions of dollars to design their dream home. While there’s absolutely nothing wrong with having standards, watch out for women who have too many. These women can be hard to get along with and critical of you, even when you’re trying your best. They can almost never be pleased and will expect you to bend at their every demand.

3. Flaky

Unfortunately, the online dating world is filled with overly flaky people. They’re not as easy to avoid in your online networking, but they’re easy to spot the instant you start trying to make plans to get to know each other better through a web call or meeting in person.

As soon as you hit “send” on the message suggesting a meeting, they instantly stop responding to you as quickly and constantly come up with excuses for why they’re so busy that they suddenly can’t even spare an hour for a coffee date. These women are either spreading themselves too thin with dating different men and don’t want to add another one to their plate, aren’t serious about actually meeting someone, or are incredibly scared of commitment. Whatever the reason is, you’re better off not trying to force it. When you notice this flakiness, politely bow out of the relationship and pursue more worthwhile candidates who are genuinely interested in meeting you.

4. Gold Diggers

While it’s certainly respectable to enjoy some of the finer things in life from time to time, there are a handful of women that turn to online dating as a source of gold digging. Clues to look for in her profile include pictures with lots of luxury brand products, and multiple exotic vacations. You can also look through her hobbies or other information she posts about herself and look for hints of enjoying things with an unusually high price tag. Also, if you start talking with a girl about meeting in person and the first date she suggests is way out of your price range, you can either suggest something else much cheaper or politely decline her. The last thing you want to do is get caught up in a relationship that leaves you financially strapped every time you go on a date.

There are a handful of other warning signs, like receiving a message that looks like it was written for a mass audience of any man she finds remotely attractive, and not to you in particular. The best thing to do is to get out of any communication or potential relationship at the first hint of dishonesty. It’s not worth your emotions to waste time with relationships that don’t stand a chance of lasting past the first few dates.

Online Dating Tricks For Men: How To Tell If She’s Hot is a post from: How to Attract Women – Gotham Dating Club

Whether you’re deciding what color to paint different rooms in your house or just picking out what to wear on your first date or a job interview, you’ll be much happier with the results if you take time to seriously consider color.

When you’re on a first date, take some time to think about the main, lasting effect you want to have on the particular girl you’re taking out, because each girl is different. It’s also advisable to stick with one, overall basic, solid color. Don’t try to integrate all the effects our you’ll just look like a paint set exploded all over you and you’ll leave her feeling confused and give her the impression you can’t dress yourself.

Red

A lot of people advise red on the first date, and it’s not without reason. It is so emotionally intense, it actually has the power to quicken breathing and heartbeat. Red is distinguishably noticeable, but also has a downfall: due to its extreme nature, it can also seem confrontational and can actually hurt you if you take an offensive stance during conversation.

Black

Black is a color known for being mysterious and slimming, but it also helps express power and/or submission. For example, some priests wear black robes to signify their submission to God, and some experts say women might wear black as an unconscious submission to male authority. Taken to the other extreme, black can be overpowering and evil, which is why so many villains have black capes.

Brown

Brown may seem boring at first, but because it is the color of the earth from which all things grow, it symbolizes reliability and a genuine character. Depending on the attitude of the person wearing brown, though, it can also come across as sorrowful and dejected.

Green

Another natural color, green has actually been proven to improve vision because it is easy on the eye. Green is another popular color in hospitals used to help people relax. Green on women can symbolize fertility. But on men, dark green especially, symbolizes wealth, masculinity, and a conservative nature.

Blue

Blue and red actually cause opposite reactions. Blue causes people to feel calm and relaxed, and often helps bring out loyalty in the wearer. Studies have also shown that when surrounded by blue walls, people become more productive in their work. Take care of the shade and amount of blue you wear, because too much comes across as cold.

Purple

For ages, purple has been the color associated with kings: prosperity, splendor and an air of sophistication. Many believe this color association is because purple is so rare in nature, but is so beautiful when it does occur. But for this exact reason, certain shades of purple can appear fake and like you’re trying too hard.

Yellow

Yellow is bright and cheery. It’s an attention getter and actually improves concentration, which is why it’s used in so many school and office supplies. While yellow is definitely optimistic, it appears on the color spectrum in a place that is harder for the eye to absorb, so too much of it can be overwhelming and puzzling, leading to discontent.

As you can see, each color has pros and cons. The trick is the confidence you portray while wearing the particular color you choose. For example, if you wear a blue shirt confidently and feel natural and relaxed, these feelings will spread to the woman you’re on a date with and the color will help. However, if you don’t wear it with confidence and you have a guarded attitude, you’ll come across as sad (and maybe a little needy), and the girl will soon get bored with you and leave at the first chance she gets. Another trick is choosing the correct shades. This can be a little more difficult, since there are no hard and fast rules. In general, you can look at the color of a shirt or tie on the clothing rack in a store and ask yourself how that color makes you feel. If the reaction is positive, go for it. If not, leave it for someone else to buy. If you need help, ask a trusted female friend to help you pick a few good first date outfits.

Color of Psychology: What to Wear On a First Date is a post from: How to Attract Women – Gotham Dating Club

It may take a while to get the hang of picking up exactly what’s going through a woman’s brain, but with a basic idea of her thought process and the criteria most women have, practice will make you nearly perfect at it.

1. Are you attractive?

This is the first thing any girl notices about a member of the opposite sex: how good he looks and how physically attractive she finds him. If you don’t pass this first test of appearing at least a little attractive to her, you may still be able to have incredible conversations with her, but heavy flirting and dates are out of the question. Instead of trying to look like some dude that stepped right out of a fashion magazine, embrace who you are remembering that everyone’s type is different, and even if one girl doesn’t find you attractive, handfuls of others will.

2. Do you have a decent personality?

After she starts talking with you, she’ll subconsciously try to see whether or not your personality type is agreeable with hers. Does she find you pretentious? A push-over? A jerk or know it all? A nice guy? Again, all women have slightly different preferences, but the basics you need to cover are being genuinely nice, smiling easily, and having an inviting air about you that doesn’t push others away.

3. Are you stable?

Once you start talking about what your lives are like, she’ll be able to get better insight into your stability. The basic question here is whether or not you’re able to support and take care of yourself, or if you’re a bum. Show her that you’re passionate about either your job or a side hobby, and that you stay engaged with life in the time you spend outside of work. Show her you aren’t the type of guy sitting on his parents’ couch eating chips and playing video games all day long.

What you do for a living plays a big part in your stability as a potential boyfriend too. People naturally exchange this information right of the bat without even thinking about it. Hopefully you’re jobs aren’t morally opposable to the other person, and a lot of people use it to gauge whether they come from the same socioeconomic class, or one that is agreeable.

4. What are your interests and hobbies?

Do your interests match on at least some level? Are your interests compatible even if they’re not the same? Most of the time, your interests and hobbies aren’t a deal-breaker unless there is one thing she finds absolutely appalling. For example, if you enjoy hunting but she’s a vegan and animal rights advocate, you might want to simply thank her for her time and move on, or enjoy her company as a new acquaintance without the pretense of trying to get a date later. Fortunately, such cases are few and far between, and most people can find ways to get along with people they’re attracted to.

5. The way you speak and think of others

A lot of men think the only opinion that matters to women is what their men think of them, but they couldn’t be more wrong. The way you talk about other people in your life – yes, even your terrible boss – makes a lasting impression. Having the opinion that everyone is stupid and ignorant does not paint you in a favorable light or automatically make you smart in her eyes. If you don’t get along with someone, you can say so, but leave it at that. Don’t let hate or anger rise up in you, and if she asks for a reason, chalk it up to what it really is: a difference in opinion or personality.

6. What are your relationship goals?

Most women don’t come right out and ask this, but will be able to tell by how you interact with other women and your fiends. Clues like the way you and your friends talk with each other, especially about girls, how much cologne you’re wearing, what you’re drinking, and the amount of alcohol you try to buy her speak a thousand times greater than any words ever could.

These six questions cover all the basics each woman covers in her mind before agreeing to a date with a man. Most of these things, besides the stability question, go completely undetected in conversation, so it’s best to know about them ahead of time. Once you know the basic criteria women are judging you on, you can plan your approaches and plan different things to say that will appeal to different types of women in different contexts.

What Are Girls Thinking? 6 Things She Thinks When You Meet is a post from: How to Attract Women – Gotham Dating Club

Fortunately, with proper foresight and planning, you can take a girl on a date she will never forget. One she’ll tell her friends all the details of, and – if you should ever break up – to compare all other first dates with.

Adventure Sports

Whitewater rafting? Hiking through treacherous landscapes? Tubing? Bungee jumping? They’re all complete and total winners and undoubtedly something she will never forget. Once you know this girl likes adventure, doing something adventurous will make you stand out leaps and bounds in comparison to every other guy she’s dated. Things that involve risk and adrenaline can be major turn-ons, especially for women who like manly men. Plus, nothing brings two people closer together like experiences that put your lives in a little bit of danger and/or looking at some of nature’s most beautiful creations together.

Hobby Class

What are some of her hobbies? Are there any you two share? Or something you’d both like to know how to do better? You can spend an evening or a Saturday afternoon learning a new skill or perfecting an old one. There are tons of hobby classes to choose from. Anything from a special type of cooking, painting, photography, pottery, drawing, or an impromptu writing or acting class works. Taking her to one of these classes shows that you really listen to her and that you’re genuinely interested in her hobbies. Plus, even if it’s something you’re both terrible at, you can laugh together at your mishaps.

Volunteer

Help out at a local soup kitchen, lobby and distribute material for a cause you both believe in, spend time with people at hospice, or help a local organization low on funds raise money. If you’re rolling your eyes at the idea or can only think of how boring it will be, think again. Consider all the inspiring people you’ll meet together and the fact that doing meaningful work with your date will bring you closer after seeing the more sensitive and caring sides of one another. Plus, you get bonus points if you volunteer there regularly and the regulars can say great things about you to your date.

Art or Museum Exhibit

Follow your nerdy, intellectual tendencies and spend time together learning something or evaluating an artist’s work. If you choose to see an exhibit on a topic you’re both interested in, it’s far from boring. When walking through the exhibit, you’ll be able to truly appreciate art, history, science, or modern culture for what it really is. You’ll have a new and interesting subject to discuss with each other that goes beyond all the basic issues you covered when you first met. And, as a bonus, you get to look like the smart one for planning it.

Concert

Is one of her favorite artists performing in town soon? Tickets to this event will score you major brownie points in her book, just make sure she hasn’t already bought some with her friends. Depending on the type of music and the ambiance of the concert, you may want to plan an additional outing before or after. For example, a high-energy concert of a pop superstar won’t give you much of a chance to communicate with each other, but a day-long outdoor music festival gives you plenty of chances to communicate and interact with one another outside of the actual listening to music.

Unique & Gorgeous Meal Location

Do you have a secret spot that very few people know about? Is it absolutely gorgeous and breath-taking? Is there something really unique about it that you know this girl would love? Pack a picnic meal and take her there. If it’s outdoors, enjoy the blue sky in the middle of the day, the sunrise, or the sunset. If it’s an indoor place, like a gallery or coffee shop in an old building with a bunch of character, tell her some of your favorite moments in that place and why you like it so much.

We’ve learned from childhood that first impressions are essential. In addition to wowing her with a great first date, you’ll also need to wow her with your attitude and personality. The best tips are to just be nice, be your true self, and be willing to be open with some of your feelings. When choosing a first date, it’s essential to take everything you know about the girl into consideration and not just serve your own interests. For example, if she likes art but says she herself is a terrible artist, hold off on the art class and go to an exhibit instead. Once the first date is a hit, promise some follow-up at the end of the night and do so within a couple of days.

Top 6 First Date Ideas To Impress a Girl is a post from: How to Attract Women – Gotham Dating Club

Shockingly, nothing changed. Upon leaving high school, no knowledge had magically been bestowed upon me by the pick-up-fairy. Women still scared the shit out of me. My conversations with them were desperate, awkward, and embarrassing.

I was abroad for months without a single success.

Then Mike moved in with me. He had left his section of the program to join mine and had been randomly assigned as my roommate. All I knew about him was that he was one of these meat-head jocks who rolled with a completely different crowd. I was not excited.

Mike turned out to be amazing. He was friendly, funny, charismatic, and always had the energy to do something exciting. It became increasingly obvious why he was hooking up with all the most attractive girls on our program. Even the ones considered untouchable, he snagged them with ease.

Finally I asked him. “How do you do it Mike?”

And like that, things changed.

Get A Mentor

Dear reader, allow me to be the first to tell you that you are on the right track. You’re here. That means you’ve become proactive in your learning, which may be the most important habit you develop in your entire life, (more on that another time).

But while reading the literature on the topic is an important component, it can’t give you precisely what a mentor can. They provide three primary benefits that reading can’t:

1. Outsider’s Perspective. You probably hate hearing a recording of your voice played back to you. The reason is, due to the vibrations in your head when you speak, you hear a different voice than everyone else. The same difference in perspective can be true of your entire personality and presence. Acting as a willing “recorder” who will talk back and inform you of flaws you’re unaware of is something these articles simply cannot do. For that, you need a mentor.

2. Big Picture Perspective. We tease women for overanalyzing things, but when it comes to dating, a lot of us do the same thing. Her behavior seems contradictory, her text is misleading, you don’t know what to make of that look in her eye. So you start to think and go over everything, and because you can’t spot what you did wrong, you flip out and cry and lose your job and end up homeless, (or something like that). A mentor can keep you from this sort of freak out analysis. With his superior understanding and experience with women, he can identify the problem, you can address it, and you can get back in the game.

3. Acting As An Example. This goes without saying. Your mentor is the greatest asset for learning in the field. Go out with him and watch what he does. See the principles and techniques you read about demonstrated in a visible way. This kind of learning will likely be the fastest kind you do.

Picking A Mentor

Mike became my roommate, friend, then mentor completely by chance. You may have to take a more deliberate approach, so here’s some tips on picking the right guy to be your guide.

Someone with a Good Track Record
This should be obvious, but it’s crucial to examine closely. There are a lot of guys who think they’re successful with women, or they’re successful relative to the people they hang out with, but they aren’t nearly smooth enough to qualify as your teacher. Pay close attention to his claims and how his actual successes compare to the game he talks. Do many of his “success” stories involve him being “so close” to sealing the deal? Does he brag about the number of women he’s been with, yet you’ve never seen or met any of these girls? Do you happen to know that his knowledge of the game can be broken down primarily to a list of tricks and lines, rather than an inherent understanding of the opposite sex? Does he seem awkward around women? Picking a mentor like this will not only mislead you, he will waste your valuable time.

Get a Teacher
By which I mean, find someone who is good at teaching. There are many people who are good, even brilliant at certain skills, but are weak at articulating the way it works to another person. Perhaps they’ve never thought about it before, or perhaps they’re just not very self-aware. Try to find someone who is good at explaining things. You’ll have better luck with someone who was not always good at attracting women than with a natural talent, since the former’s had to think about the same principles you have to. If you can’t find a teacher, you’ll have to rely heavily on observing your mentor in the field, and inferring what does and does not work. (Not the best, but a whole lot better than nothing).

Someone Who Genuinely Likes You
This is more important than you may think. In the past, I’ve had guys who I didn’t know that well approach me when looking for a mentor. I used to be willing to lend a hand to these guys, until they inevitably became pests. Rather than having a normal relationship with these men, everything had turned into a tutor-student scenario where they just wanted to juice me for information. I began to dread seeing them.

This hasn’t been true for men I’m already friends with, because we have a relationship that exists outside the game and I’m much more willing to help them out. So pick a friend who won’t mind helping you out in the long run, someone you would spend time with whether or not he was helping you. But be warned—do not abuse your friend and reduce your relationship to you pestering him for guidance, or you very well may poison something you once valued.

Someone Who’s Not Afraid to Be Honest
This is very important. Your mentor will be critiquing, and ideally improving, your social face. This may involve suggesting you change things about yourself that you cherish—your fashion, your eating habits, your daily schedule, your sense of humor, and possibly your body. If your mentor is too sensitive to admit that you have unattractive features, you will be missing a major benefit of having a guide in the first place. (Note: you also have to be prepared to hear some brutal truths, and rather than reacting emotionally, understand that your mentor’s advice is given in your best interest).

A Final Note

Though it should be easy for anyone to find someone they know who is better with women than they are, the examples you have in your life may not be good enough. People are the composite of those they spend the most time with, and if you struggle to attract women, the men around you may have the same problem. Rather than settle for a low-quality guide who may mislead you, I would recommend forgoing the mentor option and simply using the other materials available.

If you’re particularly set on having a mentor, and if you’re ambitious, (and dammit, why shouldn’t you be, you’re meant to be a winner!), you could go out and find someone. Approach men in clubs, put ads out, do what it takes if you really care. People who are talented at something are usually thrilled to share their knowledge, and they’ll likely be flattered by the request. And who knows—you could find someone by accident who you end up being good buddies with: Mike and I still hang out all these years later.

Until next time, gentlemen.

And if you’re curious how Gotham Club Founder Craig Miller can help you then click here!

How To Meet More Women? Get A Mentor… is a post from: How to Attract Women – Gotham Dating Club

No! If you spent your whole life trying to land your dream job, do you throw your feet on your desk, lean back, and call it a day when you finally get hired? You’ve worked hard up until this point, but you’re not done. The game continues, and you’ve got to be ready.

Last week, we discussed how to prepare your home to create a trustworthy, clean, and mature atmosphere. Now that we’ve got that done, let’s examine the sexier side of prepping your place, specifically: making your home ready for date night.

There are three primary things you have to be ready for if you’re going to bring someone home: showing her a good time, the possibility of sex, and the potential of a sleep-over.

Good Times

Your home has to be able to host a date. You’ll probably be having a number of dates there anyway, or at least later sections of dates may end up at your place. Either way, if she comes to your place and you’ve got nothing beyond a bed and a refrigerator, her good energies may halt in their tracks.

Have things to do in your place. If you haven’t eaten, cooking together can be a lot of fun, so maintain all your basic cooking supplies and ingredients. Table sports like ping pong, pool, pinball, foosball, and air hockey are all good activities where you can play and talk.

If she’s into it, try playing some video games. It sounds nerdy, but there are systems and games that can be fun for even the least experienced gamers. The Wii and the Xbox Kinect are super accessible to new players, and they run a number of games that don’t have the high-fantasy or war themes that alienate a lot of women. Remember also that you don’t want to pick a game that will take a long time to learn to play or has a complicated plot, since you don’t have a hundred hours to play through the story; better are the games designed around short rounds that can be replayed in succession. Ideal choices are Wii Sports, Mario Kart, and Rock Band.

Be prepared for some more mellow activities too. Keep interesting items visible, pictures or souvenirs and the like as conversation pieces. Have stations on Pandora or albums on iTunes to listen to in the background while you chat. Keep tea and coffee, a Brita filter, and something alcoholic to drink, red wine at the very least. Cuddling up and watching a movie is classic, so maintain a subscription with Netflix, HBO GO, or another cable plan that allows you to pick movies on demand.

Sex

There’s a reason it’s called “getting lucky”—you shouldn’t expect it all the time. No matter how well you’ve done so far, for tonight, it may just not be in the cards. Don’t be upset about it, it’s not a big deal.

However, there are some things you can do to make your place more conducive to sex. Having dimmers, or not-so-bright lamplight, can create a sexier atmosphere by effectively blurring your place’s flaws. If your floor is hard or cold, invest in a nice rug to soften it. And don’t forget that a nice smell goes a long way. Buy some scented candles (with a girl friend’s guidance) for that extra edge.

When it comes to your bedroom, the energy should be relaxing. That means no highly-visible clocks that may make her feel pressured. Keep your desk, your computer, your files, and anything else work-related somewhere outside. Any pets that live in a tank or a cage should be elsewhere, because of the smells and noise they create. Other pets who sleep with you should also find another spot for the night, since your guest probably doesn’t want animal company when you’re getting intimate.

Next to the other preparations, the actual sex is fairly easy to be ready for. You need a few supplies:

• Clean sheets.

• Condoms, a bunch. Know how to put one on before the moment of truth.

• Lubricant. It doesn’t matter how old she is, all women’s bodies are different. It may come in handy.

The rest is supplemental. If you want to buy sex toys, incense, kama sutra books, go for it, but don’t pull these things out if you’ve never slept with the girl before. They’re largely a matter of taste, and you shouldn’t introduce them until you know her better sexually.

Sleep-Overs

Whether or not you have sex, your guest may end up sleeping over. If you want that to happen again, she has to have a good experience. That means feeling clean, dressed down, and physically comfortable enough to sleep.

Your bathroom should be fully stocked. There should be toilet paper on the roll, tissues within reach, and clean hand towels on the rack. Having a spare toothbrush for guests sends the message that you’re a player; unless you’re giving her what’s clearly a spare toothbrush from the package, a bottle of mouthwash will usually suffice for her teeth-brushing needs. Make sure there’s a spare contact case and contact solution for her to use, and more than one clean towel in case she wants to take a shower. Have all this accessible and obvious in the bathroom, in case she wants to use something during the night or in the morning when you’re sleeping.

She probably doesn’t want to sleep in that little black dress she wore earlier, but she might not want to sleep in the nude either. Have some clean pajama pants or shorts for her to slip on, as well as any old (CLEAN) undershirt or T-shirt.

For comfort, buy at least a full sized bed. Make sure the sheets are clean and that there’s at least one, if not two pillows for her. It’s been shown scientifically that women tend to get colder than we do, so have blankets on hand in case she wants extra. Show her where the outlet is if she has a spare phone charger, and set the alarm for when she wants to get up.

You’re almost in the clear. Women, as a whole, tend to be hungry after many hours without food, (go figure). Have something for her to eat in the morning. It doesn’t have to be breakfast in bed, but if you’re not making breakfast, some juice, some fruit options, and cereal are a minimum courtesy. If she wakes up starving and you’ve got nothing to offer, she’ll dump you for a Starbucks. Don’t flub the finish line just because you’re too lazy to pick up a bagel.

A Final Note

As always, the things you have in your home should be positive for you, not just for a hypothetical date. Don’t buy a telescope for romantic stargazing if the thought of space bores you into a coma. Doing things just to impress a woman is not the formula for any sort of lasting relationship. You may be able to suffer through a night of the jazz albums you hate, but what happens if you start dating her and she expects you to come to jazz clubs with her? Don’t prepare your place just to succeed with any old girl—get it ready for the woman you truly want.

Until next time, gentlemen.

<< Click here to go back and read part 1…

Date Tips For Men: How To Prep Your Place (Part 2) is a post from: How to Attract Women – Gotham Dating Club

You see where I’m going with this. To try to seduce a woman into coming back to your dump, your juvenile man-cave, or your perverse sex den is a waste of time. Like your body, your home will be treated as an external reflection of your character, so it’s in your best interest to make a good impression.

I’ll break the following advice into two different segments. Here in Part 1, we’ll discuss the general nature and atmosphere you should promote in your abode on a day-to-day basis.

There are three primary virtues you’re trying to accomplish with your atmosphere: trustworthiness, cleanliness, and maturity.

Trustworthiness

If a woman is going to offer her love, her body, and her radiance to someone fully, she first has to trust him. That begins with her feeling safe. She is feasibly exposing herself to danger by entering someone’s home alone, and that fact will be prominent in her mind, guaranteed. No matter how well you’ve wooed her until that point, she will bolt if something strikes her as creepy or threatening.

To that end, follow this simple rule: do not display anything that you wouldn’t want your parents or the police to see. You should reconsider owning things like this at all.

Whether or not you decide to keep this stuff, certainly don’t display weapons, drugs or drug paraphernalia, pornography, or anything that could suggest sexual perversion, like sex toys or objects that are clearly fetishistic. Maybe you have a collection of high heels you wear on your own time, or a bunch of sex dolls you’ve dressed up in bridal gowns—you’ll want those things out of sight for a first date.

You’ll also want to make sure that the décor of your home doesn’t promote any sort of uncomfortable energies. When a room has any sort of extreme character, it can feel hostile. Watch our for these:

• Rooms that overflow with collectibles, merchandise, or high-tech gear
• Rooms with too much of the same colors or patterns
• Rooms that have nothing or next to nothing in them

Remember, this is a home—it’s meant for living in. Most people have some extremes in their personalities, so consider which of yours may be affecting your surroundings negatively. It’s good to allow your interests to manifest in the way you arrange your space, as long as they aren’t alienating to someone who doesn’t share your passion.

Finally, if she’s going to trust you at all, she shouldn’t see evidence that other women have been around. You may have the right to as active a social and sexual life as you desire, but nobody wants to feel as though she’s just one amongst your roster of women.

Cleanliness

You probably guessed this would be on the list, but I don’t mean your version of cleanliness. I mean her version of cleanliness.

Women tend to have more of an eye for detail than we do. That means the little things you ignore… she’ll notice them. Your dirty stove, the mold you’re cultivating in your fridge, the toothpaste mess in the sink, and the piss on the toilet are all unbearably obvious in her eyes.

There isn’t always time to powerwash your walls and flood your bathroom with bleach, so here are the most important cleaning actions you can take:

1. Put your clothes in the laundry.

2. Do your dishes. They’ll notice if you don’t, and you will be labeled gross.

3. Wipe down your bathroom, sink and toilet. She’ll have to pee at some point and she won’t do it with your pubic hair all over the seat. Also, get your grooming supplies out of sight. She doesn’t need to see your nail clippers or your hemorrhoid cream.

4. Spray Febreze, light a candle, anything  that will get your smell out. Maybe you think you smell like a fresh flower, but her nose is way better than yours and your stank is everywhere. If you have time, get a girl friend to do a smell test on your home before your date comes by.

One more thing—your place can’t be too clean. An ultra-clean room means you’re trying really hard to impress her, which makes you seem, a) amateurish and unimpressive, and b) like you’re overcompensating for something you don’t want her to know, which makes you creepy. She’ll wonder what you’re trying to hide as she inches out the door.

The bottom line: your place must feel sanitary, but also lived in.

Maturity

As a kid, home was a place to indulge in our genuine immaturity. You could hang out in your underwear, watch cartoons you were too old to be watching, and play with action figures and stuffed animals that we publicly claimed were stupid.

This dynamic ends when you become an adult. Your home has to be a place to unwind, but the secure man doesn’t use it as a hideout to behave the way he really wants to. Mature adults internalize the values they support, and act consistently in and out of their house. When men have homes that represent attitudes that contradict the ones they publicly profess, they are harboring unresolved personal issues at best. At worst, they are being deliberately deceitful.

That said, your home should represent all the maturity you would present in public. This means a few things:

• Be Ready for Guests:  Do you have hangers in the closet? Do you have something to snack on? Have you picked up the place? Mature people are prepared to entertain, romantically or otherwise.

• Control Your Property:  Does the air conditioning work, or do guests need to keep their sweaters on? Is your bathroom roped off because you haven’t found the time to call the plumber yet? Obviously emergencies happen and people understand that, but the more you’re inconvenienced by the whims of your stuff, the more your property seems to control you. Address malfunctions promptly.

• No College Décor: Posters of Pam Anderson, collections of empty liquor bottles, and fraternity merchandise will make you seem juvenile to female friends. You’re welcome to keep the objects that make you nostalgic, but anything that strikes a teenager as funny should be tucked away for memories, not displayed on your walls. Your home’s appearance should make other adults feel comfortable.

The last note is a tricky one, especially for those of us who have wimpier bank accounts. If it’s doable, it’s best to live without a housemate. When you share your space, a lot of concessions have to be made, which may detract from the attractiveness of your home. Having your own place also conveys a greater sense of your dominance in your domain.

That said, some of us can’t afford to live alone, or have found roommates who are not only open to our decorating desires, but helpful. In these cases, always be sure to inform your housemate when you plan on bringing someone over. You don’t want to walk in with your date to find your friend in any number of compromising situations. Further, if your housemate is a presentable guy, you may want to ensure that he is around, to take advantage of his potential as wingman.

That concludes Part 1. In Part II, we’ll examine how to maximize your home’s potential, specifically for date nights.

Click here to continue reading part 2….

Date Tips For Men: How To Prep Your Place (Part 1) is a post from: How to Attract Women – Gotham Dating Club

When he’s got time off from work, he goes to China and tries to investigate this region where he believes the descendants of one of the lost Tribes of Israel live. He’s found a community that lives in the mountains that never lets anyone in from the outside, and he believes traveling Jews settled there centuries ago. As if trying to get in to study the community isn’t hard enough, he also has to dodge investigation by the Chinese police, who often follow him for miles to obstruct his path.

When this guy is in America, he’s an accountant.

I have another friend who’s a playwright, but he doesn’t feature his plays on stage. He’s exclusively a basement performer, and his plays explore the sex lives of long-dead mathematicians or Franz Kafka’s fictitious memories of peeing his pants. He started writing plays when he was volunteering in the slums of Greece, teaching poor kids how to do math before he went to college.

For work, he manages websites.

This third guy, I know more through legend than I do through genuine experience. He’s a friend of a friend, a guy whose experiences with peyote led him to believe that he should abandon the modern world to live at sea. He bought a boat and became a fishing captain, with a crew that includes a guy who legitimately doesn’t have a leg, (though his replacement is a prosthetic rather than a peg leg chunk of wood).

To be honest, I have no idea what that guy is doing these days.

Being Interesting

It seems a lot of people float through life without even thinking. They take each stage as a sort of step in a formula: school, college, work, marriage, retire….die. I’m sure plenty of them find satisfaction in this, and more power to them, but a part of me cringes at the prospect of having such a bland existence.

Women do too. Females around the world marry regular men who’ll probably be most interesting when they accidentally rent the wrong movie, but that’s not what they prefer. They want globetrotting men, daring men, men who’ll open up the world and show them what they never knew, men who’ll uplift their regular lives to something more fantastic than they ever hoped to experience. Men who have more to them than meets the eye…men who are interesting.

But My Life is So Regular
Yeah, well most of the time, so are the lives of those men I described above, (not the peyote-smoking ship captain, he’s in a different category). Just as very few people are born geniuses, supermodels, or billionaires, those who win the “interesting lottery” are rare. You have to decide to be interesting.

To do that, there are two primary traits you should cultivate: audacity and curiosity.

Audacity

The bold man is attractive for many reasons. He’s a risk-taker, he’s confident, he’s unafraid… he’s got many of the traits that make for a successful provider.

He also has a trait that leads to an incredibly interesting presence. Think about it:

Exciting Experiences— All the time, we have moments in life where we have a choice; we can listen to the voice in our head that tells us to be safe, or we can go on that road trip or to that underground MMA fight or get drunk and start a civil war, (not recommended). It’s the ones who boldly say yes to those experiences that end up having great stories and interesting perspectives.

Being Shameless— There are men you’ll see at parties who’ll ask the girls if they would want to be in a threesome, how old they were when they first started touching themselves, or how they feel about giving head. Miraculously, instead of getting slapped in the face, these men are indulged and treated with interest by the women around them. Why? Because all those taboo things that we want to talk about are also on women’s minds. The guy who’s willing to steer the conversation in that direction will often attract positive attention.

Playing with Presence— We often stop ourselves from being who we want to be because we fear the social consequences. But then we see men who’re circus-performing cowboy whale biologists and find that they aren’t ostracized at all. They’re rewarded with fascination. Audacious men are willing to pursue whatever eccentric fancy they like without concerning themselves with the social ramifications, and this can lead to a fascinating multi-layered presence.

Curiosity

We have a strange sense in our culture that learning ends when you finish formal education. Not so. Maintaining an active curiosity about the world is a key trait for developing an engaging, interesting persona.

Consider these aspects of curiosity:

Sociability— Part of being curious is making a habit of listening to people and finding out what you can about them. You never know when you’ll be talking to someone you work with when you find out they used to be a part of the Black Panthers, or that they made a historic plane flight through a mountain range. These interactions give the curious man a wealth of interesting anecdotes, and sometimes invitations to join in others’ interesting pastimes.

Being Informed— I’m not talking about watching the news. There are plenty of niche news sites all over the internet that curious people can follow. Hearing the latest about new technology, about movies or space exploration, about international politics or music festivals… about anything serves as topics to bond over and talk about. You may find that you struggle in conversation, while the curious man always has something interesting to say.

Having Unique Hobbies— The curious person doesn’t stop at the obvious when it comes to pursuing a pastime. He’s probably played all the normal sports, considered all the typical instruments to study. Being curious will lead him to explore further, unearthing interesting possibilities others wouldn’t consider. Maybe he’s discovered an odd passion for the ocarina, or he raises bearded dragons in his free time. You could discover passions like that as well, if you nurture your curiosity.

A Word of Caution

Pursuing a path to cultivate your own curiosity and audacity will do wonders for making you a more interesting person. However, everything on the list above is only legitimately attractive when it is done with authenticity. If you’re doing something, (anything), just for the sake of attention or so that others will praise you, your insincerity will be obvious to virtually every woman you come across. There may be a few you can fool, but women are highly sensitive to bullshit, and you’ll look like a wannabe douchebag if you build your identity or pastimes around something that you don’t really want to do.

Authenticity will be covered more extensively in another article, but for now, remember this: whenever you’re about to do something potentially interesting, imagine what you’ll feel when it’s over. Are you thinking about the thrill or the enrichment you just gained from the experience… or are you picturing yourself telling others about what you did? If it’s the second one, skip it, and find something that genuinely excites you.

Good luck, gentlemen.

Keep Her Attention: Two Keys To Being Interesting To Women is a post from: How to Attract Women – Gotham Dating Club

Because it’s so easy and simple, it only makes sense to integrate this low-risk, easy to manage type of communication into your dating strategy. But, like planning when to call, deciding your pick up techniques, or choosing between date ideas, texting a girl you like does take some forethought and calculated, tactical moves. Every girl is different, and once in a while you’ll come across one that doesn’t respond to your texts, and you can’t figure out why. Fortunately, the reasons girls don’t text back almost always fall into one of the following reasons, so you can reassess your strategy and know what to do about it.

1. She’s Playing Hard to Get

Some girls simply aren’t as easy to get a date with as others and want to see some work and sweat from your end to know you’re worth their time. In this case, they might see texting as an easy, low-risk cop out, especially if your texts lack value. (more on that later) To test out this hypothesis, give her a call. It’s not the end of the world if she doesn’t pick up – she might be in a meeting at work or something. But do follow up with a voicemail or another text, and she should get back to you.

2. She’s Not Sure How to Respond

Was the last text you sent her vague or open-ended? She might not know exactly what you’re asking, or she may be deciding how much information to reveal to you if the question is open-ended. Go back and read your text. Is there a better way to re-phrase it? Does it elicit a response on her end? The best way to ensure a response is sending a text that is kind and elicits a response from her about something very specific.

3. She’s Not Happy With You

Did you end on bad terms the last time you were with her? If you did something to upset her or said something that made her angry, texting probably isn’t the best way to make amends. Put some effort into planning a surprise apology gesture that shows your genuine feelings and sorrow for offending her. Ask for her forgiveness, and be willing to wait a little bit while she heals emotionally.

4. She’s Tired of Texting

Blowing up her phone is never the way to go. If you want to have a full-on conversation with her, it’s much easier and quicker for both of you if you just dial her number, put the phone to your face and talk to her. Texting does take a lot more time than actual talking, and dealing with tiny keyboards can get annoying after a while. Furthermore, if you make a habit of having a conversation over text, she’ll get frustrated with you very quickly.

5. Your Text Lacks Value

Questions like “What are you up to?” and “What are you doing this weekend?” seek value from her, make her do the majority of the work, and make you seem lazy. If you want to pursue a girl, you should be the one to bring the initial value to the conversation, especially if it’s a new relationship. Try texting her about a comedic memory, complimenting her, or asking her about an idea you had of something you two could do together next.

6. You’re Blowing Up Her Phone

Text her two to three times maximum, but not in the same day. It is possible that she’s not emotionally attached to her phone and only gets around to responding to her messages every once in awhile. Sending 10 texts in one day makes you seem desperate and needy. Instead, send one text of value and wait 24 hours for a response.

7. She Sees Texting as a Cop-Out

Girls with strong personalities expect a lot of other people, especially of men who want to date them. Though texting is a great way to communicate and she’ll probably be open to it once you establish a relationship, in the initial stages, she may be expecting you to “man-up” so to speak and actually risk the rejection you might face in calling her.

8. She’s Not Into You

Even if she’s a great girl and you’re an incredible guy, the simple fact is that no single person is a perfect match for everyone else. We all have different personality traits, talents, and passions that make us who we are, and just because someone else isn’t into it doesn’t make it less valuable. If you get the feeling she’s not texting back because she’s not into you, count it as a blessing in disguise and pursue someone else.

Texting for dating can be hard to master at first, but it does get easier with time and practice. What are some texts you’ve used that seem to be fail-proof in getting a response from women?

8 Reasons She Won’t Respond to Your Texts & What To Do Next is a post from: How to Attract Women – Gotham Dating Club

Airport Layovers

Traveling can be lonely. And long. Most of the time, when a single, smart woman is traveling across the country by herself, she’s more than happy to invite a light-hearted, simple conversation to help pass the time during layovers or mid-flight. Take a look around, and you’ll see the majority of the travelers are sitting alone at their gates, trying to distract themselves from boredom with their cell phones, computers, or a random magazine they just picked up. Find a cute girl and strike up a conversation with her. If she’s eating, ask her if her sandwich is any good or if she has another recommendation. If she is reading a magazine, ask her what she thinks about the topic on the cover of it. Unless you have a crazy look in your eye, she won’t think you’re creepy or weird – just another bored traveler like herself. Find out where she’s from, where she’s going, and how often she travels. If the conversation goes well and you really enjoy each other’s company, ask for her business card, phone number or Facebook information to stay in touch.

Work Conferences

If you work for a company that sends you out at least once or twice a year to a conference, you can use it as a way to not only get ahead in your career, but to spice up your dating life while you’re at it. It’s like killing two birds with one stone. If the conference is large enough, there will be people there from all types of cities, companies and backgrounds, including a handful of smart, single women. Scope out anywhere from one to three women you think you’d like to get to know. Start your conversation by asking them what they thought about a particular session or about their job and go from there. This is a great chance for you to show off your intelligence and aptitude without being pretentious about it. Discuss ideas and developments you’re both passionate about. Ask to meet her for a drink later, or to meet her at dinner. If she agrees, she’s probably into you too. Set up a handful of these meal or drink/coffee dates with her and see where it goes.

Community Group

Before you let the label “community group” form an image in your mind of a bunch of hippies sitting around holding hands and singing songs, think for a second. A community group is any place or meeting open to the general public for people interested in or passionate about a certain thing. Whether you’re a complete science geek, a triathlon addict, an environmentalist, a foodie, or are deeply committed to your spiritual side, there are more than enough of these groups for you to choose from and join. In addition to meeting and having a good time with like-minded people, there are bound to be at least a handful of pretty, interesting women to meet and strike up a conversation with. Meeting this way, you already know you’re compatible in at least one area, so why not explore the relationship to see if there’s something more?

Home Furnishing Stores

Yes, most men groan at the thought of picking out bed sheets, kitchen utensils, curtains, throw pillows or coffee tables. But swallowing your pride and risking potential boredom for 20 minutes is often worth the risk. Most women enjoy shopping so much, they’d be willing to help you do some of your own. Think of a few things you legitimately need to spruce up your place (preferably things in the same room) and pick out a store in a popular shopping center. Go to the section your target items are in and start looking around. Pick up one or two items and wait for a girl to come by that is just as interested in the items in that section as you are. It won’t take long. Go up to her, maybe acting a little embarrassed that you don’t know much about interior design, and ask her if the two items go together, or if she thinks they’ll match the existing colors of your room. If she offers help, keep asking her questions to keep her talking to you. If the conversation goes well, ask to meet her for a casual date.

This is is far from exhaustive, and is only meant to get you started in the direction of thinking of new and unique places to pick up women. To come up with a list of your own to try out, sit down and brainstorm the places you find yourself spending a significant amount of time at, whether you like those places or not. The more you think, the more opportunities you’ll find to pursue women.

Help some of your fellow men out: Where was the most interesting place you ever met a woman? And how did that relationship go?

4 Strange Yet Effective Places to Pick Up Women is a post from: How to Attract Women – Gotham Dating Club